Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
