we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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