in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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