if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
