so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
