mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
