i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
