Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
