May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
