i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my shit smells like andre
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
COCAINE IS GR8
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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