So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
