Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
