Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I had to cum in my sink.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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