So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
