I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My balls are so social today.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
