Where is the hickey?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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