I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
its liver damage thursday
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
