hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
