Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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