You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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