Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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