If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
