you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
