and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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