Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
