they need to just BURY HIM!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
