Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
