glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
