o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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