Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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