why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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