forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This is classic penis vs brain.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
