I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
