Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
did you just send me my own nude
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
