By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
