I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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