who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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