Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
