...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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