Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
