Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
