Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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