She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
