Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
