i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
