she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
