so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
