So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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