He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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