you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Will exercising make me less horny?
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