You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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