she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
