wakey wakey hands off snakey
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
