batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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