Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
