omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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