they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
