Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
