I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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